Clearly we need to start this blog off with a real cliche, the period. Few things are more connected with being biologically female than Auntie Flow. Not all of us have it, yet a great deal of us do and, for me at least, it is simultaneously annoying and empowering.
Lately I have not been satisfied with my period regimen. I’ve been using Tampons since at least college (I was pretty intimidated by them before I started having sex), but there’s the ever present danger of TSS and it’s such a wasteful product that they’ve never completely sat quite right with me. Enter these beauties:
I was skeptical at first. I asked a friend if she had ever tried one and she gave me the biggest deer in the headlights look I’ve ever seen. She proceeded to tell me some story she had read on the internet about a woman’s menstrual cup mishaps. Apparently this woman tried taking hers out at work and proceeded to drench herself in blood. Needless to say, this put me off for a while.
Eventually I decided to do my own research and realized that if you time this right, you don’t have to change these bad boys at work (if you work an 8-hour shift) because you can leave these in for 12 hours! Generally I don’t leave mine in that long, but it’s nice to have the option.
So I made the decision to get one. I read a bunch of Amazon reviews and got one called the Blossom Cup. Mostly because I just couldn’t bring myself to buy one named The Diva Cup. But blossom sounds nice. My vagina deserve a blossom, I thought. It’s a dog-on beautiful flower. Anyway, I got my cup.
Now, there is a learning curve. You have to bend it to get it into your vagina and you need to sort of prod and wiggle it to get it to pop back into its unfolded form. This took a while the first few times. Sometimes it still takes a while.
But really the hardest thing is getting it out, because, girl, you’re going to reach down there and not feel it and you’re going to have a panic attack. At least I did. I had put it in for the first time before bed and apparently it will creep up, especially when gravity isn’t pulling it down. I was going crazy. Did I not actually put it in? Did my vagina eat it?
Finally, I had the sense to use Google and realized what was happening. So I sort of squatted and bared down, foot propped on the edge of the tub. The best way to describe it was that I gave birth to that cup (I think as I’ve never actually given birth). I finally felt that plastic nub and started to tug, broke the suction with a free finger and it was out. I’m not going to lie, it was pretty gross too, filled with blood and coated in uterine lining. But I’m happy to say I am completely over that initial disgust and now I’m fascinated by how much blood I collected this time. I may also just be a weirdo.
It’s a little strange at first but then it’s awesome. You may leak a little in the beginning (it may not be deployed properly) or sometime if your flow is heavy, but nothing a small pantyliner won’t fix. You don’t feel anything when it’s in, there’s no messy string, it’s really fantastic. I hope more women decide to take the plunge and try it. I promise, the benefits greatly outweigh the struggles. Feel free to ask questions in the comment section if you have any!